I'm not a big resolutions girl.

In 2006, my mom said "Instead of trying to work out or eat healthier this year, let's get our passports. That will be our goal for the year." Two months later, I found tickets to London & a hotel near Hyde Park for 10 days for $800/pp. My mom thought we were just getting our passports that year but I thought bigger. We booked it and got our passports. That September, we had an incredible vacation together.

Being a new year, it's always a time for people to say "I'm going to be a better person by_____." It's a nice thought but most people end up forgetting their resolutions after a few weeks (or days). Many have no idea why they decided to do it in the first place. Most of these resolutions are about eating healthier, taking care of our bodies, exercising more, doing things on a daily basis... but those should be things we make habits, not resolutions.

With 2011 being my year of intentionality (at Sisarina AND in my personal life), I've made 2012 a year of leadership for Sisarina and a year of habit-forming for my personal life. Throughout December, I started making new habits of exercising at least 30-minutes a day, spending more time praying and giving myself some quiet time. This showed me that determination will get me everywhere and what I succeeded most at was the exercising (I know, shocker). So, it's time for me to create more new habits and to pound in the ones I've recently created.

GOALS FOR 2012:
BODY:
    - Run 1200 miles
    - Run 150 of those miles completely barefoot
    - Bike 300 miles outdoors
NUTRITION:
    - detox Jan 1-28 (no sugar, dairy, alcohol, coffee)
    - give self one cheat day a week Feb 1-Dec 31
    - eat only whole foods (nothing processed)
VACATION:
    - take two out-of-town vacations
    - no computer, no phone, no TV
OFFLINE:
     - spend 24 straight hours per week offline
     - no computer, no phone, no TV

This seems feasible and attainable albeit a little hardcore. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be Melanie. I'm ready to take 2012 one step at a time.

Instead of resolutions, what have you decided to make your new habits?
 

Intentionality was the goal for 2011.

First, I applied this to Sisarina. At work, I stopped worrying about where money was coming, I blogged more, I focused on networking and bringing in more business, I hired better. My staff even supported this intentionality. Our intentionality became habit and we'll be taking it into our next year. (2012 is about leadership!)

Halfway through the year, I wondered why I wasn't feeling more intentional about my personal life. My work life was fantastic and everything was moving along perfectly but there was such discord outside of that. I started looking at being more intentional with the rest of my life and was impressed to find out that when you are intentional about everything, you get so much more joy out of life.

A month ago, I set a goal to pray more, exercise more and be more diligent about my quiet time.

MY GOALS:
4-WEEK NEW HABITS CHALLENGE:
MIND:
- commit to praying every morning & every evening
- commit to 15-min of quiet time for just reflection every day
- commit to being in bed by 11pm & waking up by 6am every day
- commit to tracking thoughts on paper daily
BODY:
- commit to 30-60min of exercise every day
- commit to eating & drinking only healthy
- commit to stretching every morning
- commit to tracking exercise on DailyMile.com daily

MIND:
PRAYER: Joshua, the incredible man I'm dating, has helped me keep this one for the month. We've been praying every morning and every evening over the phone, on Skype or in person as we can. Some days we aren't able to and I send up a little prayer but most days we pray together. It's such a blessing to have a man in my life who will pray with me and help me keep this up. It's now hard to start the day or end it without prayer. With this, Teresa and I have taken more time to sit and pray about Sisarina.

QUIET TIME: I definitely have not done this. My runs tend to be my quiet time if I don't have a running buddy. Being quiet is not easy for me but I plan to continue to focus on it. Since I haven't done this, I also haven't had the quiet time to track thoughts on paper. I hope to learn how to get my thoughts out and really listen to what God is saying through writing and quiet time in the new year.

BEDTIME: This is something I've learned to be very clear about. With all the running, I've definitely been up by 6am every day and because I've worn myself out with exercise and work, I'm typically in bed between 10-11pm. It's been so incredible getting solid nights of sleep.

BODY:
EXERCISE: As you'll see from my DailyMile.com profile, I've been very intentional about my 30-min per day. In 4 weeks, I only missed 4 days whereas I was only doing about exercise about 4 days a week. Being more intentional with a goal allowed me to begin a habit that I now plan to continue into 2012. My new goal with exercise is to run 1200 miles. That translates into about 25 miles per week. Excited to make that happen!

INTAKE: The eating & drinking only healthy didn't end up as healthy as I'd like. Because of this, I've also included being careful of what I drink in 2012. My plan is to drink only water so that I can keep my body hydrated for all the running I'll be doing. Drinking rum to combat stress has become a bit of a habit I'd like to break. Joshua & I are starting off the year with the same 4-week detox (minus wheat) that I did a few months ago. 

STRETCHING: Over the course of the month, I became more intentional about my stretching. It became habit after a run to stretch but stretching every morning? Nope. I've recently had a girlfriend convince me to start doing Bikram Yoga and another tell me she'd meet me at my office to do yoga with me. I think this will be something I need a buddy to help me with.

It's been quite an incredible month of intentionality completing my year of intentionality. Huge thanks to running & exercise buddies, David Heyman, Sam Young, and Jessica Menk. Huge love to Joshua Rennie & Teresa Thomas for praying with me. Thank you to all who encouraged me this month. Excited about more growth in 2012.
 

Vast cornfields, low-hanging fog, the occasional deer, more trees than even God can count, small dirty houses on 10 acres of land, a gravel company, an Irish golf course, an Amish farm, a tractor-trailer company, more cornfields, 15 cars in 8 miles… such a relaxing long run on a Friday morning. Western New York is ingrained my bones. It'll never leave.

Growing up in Western New York, I couldn't wait to leave. Now that I have been living elsewhere for almost 10 years, Western New York calls to me, especially when I'm stressed. It calls to me quietly but with such a strong and powerful force. The trees give way to cornfields that end at more trees. My feet hit the pavement at 7:15am in a place where sidewalks don't exist. The trails in the woods are hidden so I don't bother heading out under the tree cover for fear of getting lost. Just me, the open road and the rows and rows of corn.

Last night I sat on the enclosed porch with all the windows open listening to the crickets surrounding the house. Walking outside, it was so dark that every star was easily spotted in the black sky. There were no lights impeding their twinkling. There was nothing, aside from the sound of the occasional car and barking dog.

Today, the road and I were friends. We worked together to make sure I felt like I was flying. My Bikilas were gliding over the asphalt. My music was enlightening my cadence. The fog told me the sun was trying to break through. I watched for cars to make sure they saw me. I checked my breathing and made sure my stride was in check, my feet were touching down correctly. My body was a well-oiled machine. My mind was happy.

Around mile 4, I passed an Amish house and looked over to see a little boy about the age of four standing on his porch in black pants, bright blue button-down, suspenders and his pants open watering the flowers. It made me giggle and forget about the hill I was climbing. So unassuming… just taking my time while finding some interesting scenery. No thought to how my body felt, just knew I wanted to keep going.

At the end of my run, I saw my parents' house about half a mile away and knew it was time to make things happen. I kicked it into high gear, pushed my body past its limits and sprinted like I was heading for a finish line. I felt that amazing… like I could do anything. I finally understood what it felt like when people told me they wanted to just keep running.

Tonight, as my dad and I took my 2-year-old niece on a scooters/dirt bikes, we rode over to the Genesee River and sat in chairs covered in peeling paint and rust. I looked to my right to see Amish gentlemen fishing in the river in their full beards, black hats and bright blue shirts with suspenders on their black pants. Probably finding something delicious for dinner. Where else do you see that every day?

Western New York is peaceful. People drive slower, have less stress, enjoy life. They take in the scenery and force you to do so. I learned a lot from my run today… a lot about how I need to take in everything around me instead of always worrying about where my next step will take me. 

Written: Friday, August 5, 2011

by David, @dsklarin

There is a stigma regarding men talking about struggles with weight and healthy eating. I was hesitant to even write this post when Melanie requested that I guest-blog about the last few weeks. I believe that in life I can either save my ass or my face, usually not at the same time. So I choose to save my ass and to talk about it. I had let some friends know where I was at and that I could use some help. Asking for help also does not come easy for me. Here is my experience so far:

A funny thing happened a couple months ago...I found myself staring at myself in the mirror in the bathroom wondering what had happened. I now knew how my beloved Yankees must have felt after dropping 4 straight games to the evil Red Sox after being up 3-0 in the 2004 ALCS. I woke up and was genuinely horrified at what I saw. I was a fat guy again. How did this happen? Was this some nightmare that I couldn't wake up from?

See, a few years ago I was a REALLY big guy. Here is a picture of me with Aaron Boone (who hit the home run for my Yankees that knocked the aforementioned evil Red Sox out of the ALCS the year prior to the collapse of 2004). It wasn't so much that I was larger than life, I was UNHEALTHY. I grew up playing baseball and hockey and hiking. I was now sedentary...at a desk job, in a bad relationship and just unhappy in general. I hadn't even picked up my guitar or sang in over a year (if you know me at all you find this hard to believe right now).

On the way home from losing my job I received a call that my aunt had died. As I pulled up to my house there was a moving truck. My girlfriend was moving out and I was home early, having been laid off and all. BEST DAY EVER. That's not sarcasm, it's the truth. The job stunk, the relationship was not so great and my aunt was in a lot of pain. Jimmy Needham sings a song called "Hurricane" where he asks that all of the unnecessary things in his life get swept away like in a hurricane so he can focus on what is really important. That is what that day was for me.

I started on the breakup diet, aka not feeling like eating. A funny thing happened though - I started eating right - cooking all of my meals, not eating processed flour or any sugar that didn't occur naturally. I started running. I was at the gym almost daily. I prayed before meals giving thanks for the continued motivation and ability to be a good steward of the body that I had been given.

A year later I was running 5 miles a couple times a week. Want a real fistpump at the Jersey Shore??? Run 5 miles on the sand as the sun is coming up. If you don't feel like pumping your fists at that kind of overwhelming beauty then I think you're crazier than...well, a Red Sox fan or something. I was lifting at 5am 5 times a week. Here's a pic from about that time with a friend and a horse that my family owns: I was healthy and loving life.

And then last September I switched companies and was behind a desk again. I started to skip a day here and there at the gym. Then two days once in awhile. I didn't eat as well on those days, as my body didn't crave the same types of nourishment. It was too cold to run was what I allowed myself to believe. Then before I knew it I hadn't been to the gym in months. By mid-May of this year I was up 40 lbs. HOW did this happen? HOW could I have let this happen.

Two choices at this point - give up, believing the lie that I would always fail at this and hence why even try...OR, get back on the horse, listening to the truth that a temporary setback was all this was, if I wanted it to be.

Melanie asked me to write how I feel after a few weeks of not eating crap (have you ever heard her say the word "crap" with that Western NY accent? it's cutely funny). There's not much to tell - I feel like I am not craving things that are killing me anymore. I have not dropped much weight...yet, however 4 weeks is just the beginning of a restart of what I began in May of 2009.

I didn't agree to be a part of this food detox for vanity - I love how healthy FEELS. I crave that again. I want to have a family - to grow old with someone I love, to see kids graduate, get married and have kids of their own. An unhealthy lifestyle is more than inconvenient, it is the surest way to miss out on these things. I actually love eating healthy, I love exercising and I love being a good steward of the resources that I have been given. I view the detox as a "reset" button... like those old Nintendo 8-bit systems had... when the game was crap, you could hit that button and start over... So thank you, Melanie, for helping me restart something that I love.

Keep up on the progress at: 4 Week Detox

I've never been the type of person to really listen to her body. Teresa, my friend & co-worker, is someone who knows every allergy, every gurgle and every problem that her body has before she even has it. About a year ago I finally started listening to it and seeing the differences in it due to hormones, food, water, and more - it's amazing what my body has been going through without me even realizing it.

With huge cravings for sugar, a very recent caffeine requirement and lots of pain in my guts, I've decided to hit a 4-week detox to find out what's wrong with me. Along with that, I'd like to cut my cravings for things that aren't good for me. Removing my ability to snack on sweets, have a drink while I'm working in the evenings and allow myself to sleep without needing caffeine to keep me going, I feel that four weeks will get me on track. The goal: healthy eating, healthy lifestyle and a go-get-em attitude without the need for coping mechanisms.

June 5, 2011 starts a four week adventure. My friends, David, Mia & Lauree, are making this happen with me. It's hard to do anything alone and having others to keep me up on it is going to be a HUGE help.

RULES:
Remove all of the following from diet:
Fried food
Wheat
Refined Sugar
Dairy
Alcohol
Caffeine

TIMING:
June 5 - July 2, 2011

KEEPING TRACK:
Follow our eating/drinking habits on our handy-dandy spreadsheet at: melaniespring.com/4-week-detox

On Twitter, you can see what we're up to with:
Twitter handles: @MelanieSpring, @DSklarin, @MRommel & @LaureeeO
Hashtag: #4weekdetox

Wish us luck!

As a Christian, I've heard the words 'garbage in, garbage out' most of my life. Usually it was a pastor or a mother telling us as youth that the music we listened to or books we read or people we hung out with are going to cause destruction in our lives. Since most of us as kids don't listen to the people who tell us 'no,' I felt I could do what I wanted without worry of consequences. I was my own person and knew who I could hang out with, what I could listen to, what I could read and how I was going to act without their influences. Sometimes our elders are right... 

music
Music has always been one of my top passions. I love going to concerts, I have to have music playing all day, I wake up to music, I sing at church every week as the Music Director, I just love music. All styles, all types, all kinds, doesn't matter. I love dance music, heavy beats, stuff that makes me want to jump around. Mainstream music has been becoming more overtly sexual with every new song that comes out. I catch myself singing the words and realize it says nothing about who I am or what I believe in. It actually says the opposite and many times it's repulsive.

I've been listening to Christian radio over the years but found Air1 and XM's The Message along with the local station 91.9FM to be the contemporary Christian rock stations that had a great message AND a great beat. I never got into gospel or traditional church music (hymns and things) but with the upbeat, positive message of these stations I was able to get my music fix while not worrying about the words coming out of my mouth. 

Don't get me wrong... I still listen to mainstream music and there's a lot of great stuff but sometimes I don't 'feel like a plastic bag floating through the wind.' I feel like I'm being lifted up and I'd rather have those words stuck in my head.

food
Recently I've been noticing that all the working out I've been doing hasn't been helping me as much as I expected. My legs and arms are getting toned but my middle isn't. There are muscles under there but a nice layer of fat has formed causing them not to show. This theory applies even to my body. When I eat a box of Girl Scout cookies and go for a run, it's not going to help with what I really want it to. The garbage I put into my body causes me to see where it's going while the positive things I'm doing for myself can't seem to balance it out. Everyone says that it's 80% how you eat and 20% how you work out.

I'm putting myself on a strict low carb, low sugar diet to help myself curb my cravings for sugar. At 30 without children, I should be able to keep myself lean and healthy but if I keep stuffing confections and pizza down my throat, I'll just keep finding that my muffin-top is getting bigger.

words
I may be a Christian but I've always had the mouth of a sailor. I'm not sure if it was because I was being rebellious due to the fact that we weren't even aloud to say 'awesome' growing up (because only God is awesome) but I definitely felt like I fit into who I hung out with by dropping the f* bomb without even thinking about it. 

For Lent this year, I gave up swearing. Teresa told me a story about a kid in college she knew who touted that his father was a Christian but that he swore because nothing in the Bible said he couldn't. Teresa's response was: You're right but it's terribly disrespectful to the people around you. No more nasty, foul words.  

people
I am a very social person and a connector of people. I love meeting people and making them part of my social circle. Not long ago I realized that I was being overly friendly and just letting anyone who wanted to be a part of my life... not just as an acquaintance but as a friend. Some of those people pushed my bad habits to the max and I found myself doing things I wasn't proud of. No one made me do anything I didn't want to do but they reinforced the things I shouldn't be doing. Slowly I noticed they started weeding themselves out of my life and now my close friends are people who help me grow, not keep me heading down a destructive path.

At work I noticed that when I allowed certain people to be my clients I was angry more often than if I worked with the people who gave me a positive feeling. Those frustrating clients caused me to say and do things I normally wouldn't do and brought my entire attitude down. Thankfully I've been learning how to spot them recently and clear them out before they become my nightmare. 

Overall, my mother and my youth pastor were right. If you hang out with people who are rude to others, you'll find that you're being rude to others too. If you listen to music that doesn't send the message you want your life to show, you'll find it's the soundtrack of your life. If you eat unhealthy, you'll find that you can't fit into your jeans. If you say disrespectful things, your mother will end up hanging up on you.

Time to clear it out and clean it up. I'm on a mission. Now it's your turn. 

by Annie Lynsen

Look at this girl with huge, frizzy hair, oversized glasses, and that special, awkward grin only adolescence and a mouthful of braces can bring. That was me in junior high - the typical, awkward teen.

Astonishingly, I didn't get a lot of dates then. I wasn't one of the "pretty-pretties" - the popular girls, the cheerleaders. In retrospect my body was pretty amazing - I was a dancer, and didn't surpass 110 pounds until high school - but I hated that I was built like a Skipper doll, with no boobs and no hips. My skin was pale to the point where my mom begged me to wear blush so I "wouldn't look dead."

But one day in my mid-teens I was reflecting on the story of the ugly duckling, and made a decision to put mind over matter. I was going to tell myself that I was the most gorgeous, fascinating thing that walked the earth, and my own positivity would attract others and make me "date-able."

It actually worked. Suddenly I found it a bit easier to make friends and started getting a date here and there. I was more confident, or at least appeared to be. What people may not have realized was that my "ego" was just a facade covering a shaking, anxious, insecure self-image, desperate for approval from her peers.

But even though I'm well beyond my awkward phase, I still default to vanity-disguising-deep-insecurity mode, feeding off compliments and other people's perceptions of my body to determine my self-worth.

Not that I haven't tried to build legitimate confidence in my how I look. I work out five times a week, and women's magazines always say that physical exercise makes you feel better about your body, by getting you to focus on the things it can DO as opposed to the way it looks. But they always say that in the same breath as a headline that screams "Get flat abs now!" And when I'm gritting my teeth on the elliptical trainer, I can't say I'm mentally marveling at how my arms can go back and forth at the same time as my legs…I'm more focused on hoping the torture will be over soon.

And the reason I spend 30 minutes, five days a week torturing myself in the gym is because, like most women, I went through the inevitable post-college weight gain that led to the inevitable post-weight-gain obsession with diet and exercise. I find myself fixated on my own body shape and size to the point of obnoxiousness, especially in the summer. Not because summer brings swimsuit season, but because summer brings…SCI-FI CONVENTIONS.

Yes, I'm a big nerd, and I love to dress up like science fiction characters. But as part of my body complex, I intentionally choose a skimpy or tight costume months ahead of convention season, then use the costume as motivation to keep to a strict diet and exercise regimen. To my friends' and coworkers' annoyance, I spend months openly worrying about looking bad in a costume I myself chose to wear. (I'm amazed I have any friends left, honestly.) But despite all the crap I put myself and others through, getting positive reactions at conventions is priceless to me. Having people ask to take my picture while I'm in costume, telling me how great I look…it feeds my soul in ways I can't describe.

I know I'm not supposed to define myself by how others see me, but darn it, I'm human, and I'll admit that when someone unexpected says I'm beautiful or flirts with me, it quiets the stirring monster of self-doubt inside my brain for a few minutes.

It's not wrong to enjoy compliments - in fact, it sucks when somebody responds to a compliment with self-deprecation. But I should focus on building my confidence more from within than without. So by way of this blog post, I pledge I will try. Bit by bit, I will start reminding myself that I'm about more than my looks, and that I don't need compliments to feel good about myself. The frizzy-haired teen I once was is gone now, and even if I still yearn for bigger boobs, higher cheekbones, a tighter butt, smaller thighs, and six-pack abs, I don’t need to put on a mask for people to like me.

I hope.

by Jennifer

My name is Jennifer. I also hate my body.

That is, I hate my body until I REMEMBER.

Let me explain… I’m at this fragile state in my life. My self esteem seems to always be on a precipice. I am a 38 year old woman who’s body is beginning to betray her by falling apart. Grey hair has begun to make an entrance. Wrinkles now appear. And cellulite? Oh yeah. It is there. It is SO there.

I’ve struggled with body image issues since the age of 12. That is the year I first got my period and very rapidly grew breasts. (Much to the excitement of every middle school boy and to the chagrin of every middle school girl.) Sad to say but from that point on I was painfully aware of every female inadequacy that I possessed. Isn’t that sad?

I can count on one hand the number of times in my life where I felt confident and comfortable in my own skin. My body has never fit into society’s ideal image. And I have been keenly aware of that fact all of my life. It seems I have always been ill at ease with this body.

That is, until I remember what this body is capable of.

· This body has miraculously and safely birthed two healthy babies. It didn’t let me down. It is strong.

· This body has resisted major diseases and illnesses and way too many all-nighters. It is steadfast.

· This body has endured two marathons, countless half-marathons and one ridiculous 182 mile relay. It endures.

My body is not perfect. I am not anywhere near where I want to be. Intellectually I know that I am a beautiful, healthy, intelligent woman but in my mind’s eye, well, let’s just say there is a disconnect.

The challenge for me then is to not allow my body, my insecurities and my appearance become idols that take the place of God. It is when we remember the bigger picture and live a life of worship, putting God first, that there is freedom, joy, and peace.

Peace.

Being at peace with your body. Isn’t that a novel thought?

Just like with other aspects of life, when I lose sight of what my body was truly built for and instead focus on what society dictates, I become shackled to neurosis and chained to insecurity.

When I remember what this body is capable of and what it's greater purpose is, I gain a new perspective and I live free.

Watching little girls run through a sprinkler on a hot summer day in adorable pink bathing suits with no shame makes me shameful.

Hi, my name is Melanie. I hate my body.

Growing up, I was always much taller than the other kids… and much thinner. This was terrifying in high school because I was just awkward and… too tall. I was so skinny that in 6th grade, I had already hit 6' tall but hadn't yet hit 100lbs. Models are that size - makes me sick. I couldn't gain weight.

I noticed that even after college I got a little more curvy but stayed thin. You would think I'd start loving the body I was blessed with but I struggled with it. I wanted what I didn't have, like so many women. I wanted curves, I wanted to be short, I wanted muscles, I wanted boobs - all things I couldn't seem to get, no matter what I did. Looking back, there were so many women that would have wanted my body especially since I didn't have to work at it.

When I was 25, I was a size 6, had been building muscle, was doing the Abs Diet to teach myself how to eat healthy. Out of nowhere, I started feeling terrible pain and was diagnosed with a stress disorder that, I was told, was only held at bay by eating foods that were not touched by the sun. Because I had been eating so healthy, it was triggered along with the stress I was under. This meant no wheat, soy, most fruit or veggies, no chocolate or peanut butter, nothing healthy… nothing. I put on 20 lbs in 6mo and started hiding my body. At 27, I was up to 165 and felt terrible every day. I lost all my energy and just got into a continuous cycle. Few people noticed the weight gain since 20 lbs spreads out on a 6' frame but I could feel it. Sitting down, wearing jeans, putting on anything remotely tight was just torture. I hid inside myself and just stopped caring.

In early 2008, I caught a running bug. I felt better, little by little. I lost weight quickly and reduced my stress greatly. Races & goals were set, training and pushing my limits allowed me to see what I could do. Every time I hit a goal, I would feel strong and confident. My clothes stopped being loose and started showing the results of my athleticism. I projected the confidence that I so badly wanted. They say that if we exude confidence in ourselves, others will want to be close to us. My body confidence is and always has been an act.

Hi, my name is Melanie. I hate my body.

I am 6' tall, 152lbs, getting harder, tighter and stronger by the week. I am training for a half marathon that happens to be the day before my 30th birthday and the only reason I'm doing it is so I can look back at pictures of myself at 30 and say that I looked damn good. I am doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Every week I see more results from the 5+ days a week I'm either pounding a trail or hitting the gym. I see my shoulders getting tighter, I hear compliments on how much better I look, I feel the confidence I never had before because I was either too skinny or too fat for what I wanted to be.

All I see in the mirror are all the things I need to fix. My stomach, my love handles, the dimpled fat on the back of my legs, the backfat hanging over my bra, the things that NO one else will ever notice. I don't look at how I've strengthened my legs, I just see what I need to improve. I don't look at how I lack the double chin I had, I see that I have it when I smile too hard in pictures. I don't look at how strong my arms are getting, I just see the fat on the back of them that I need to lose. Every day I think about how I should be on a stricter diet, how I shouldn't drink because of the calories, how I shouldn't eat snacks because they're unhealthy. I am in an unending cycle and can't seem to get out of it.

Hi, my name is Melanie. I hate my body.

My entire life, I've felt like I needed someone to tell me I'm beautiful so I could feel beautiful. I don't have the pain of having parents who didn't tell me - they did! They still do. I am the critical woman in the mirror. I know I am strong-willed - I'm a business owner. I know I have what it takes to make things happen - I connect people every day. I know that I have confidence - I speak at impromptu events where people need to learn from me. I am a strong, incredible woman with a lot to offer… yet I can't seem to figure out how to run without the narcissistic reasoning.

I am changing my way of thinking - just by saying this to whoever is reading. My new goal is to hit the gym & run, not to look better naked or in my bathroom mirror, but to find the confidence in my body that I am so greatly lacking. Not to be thinner, not to lose weight, but to be more disciplined. I am also realizing that my discipline will need to carry over into the other parts of my life… but more on that next time.

If you take anything from this, realize that you are an incredible woman. No matter what you've been told, no matter what you think about yourself. You are what God made you to be and if you're living that 'you', you're exactly what you should be. Love it. Once you love yourself, others will want to be close to you.

Hi, my name is Melanie. I will start loving my body.

Starting May 7, I am on a 30-day detox. I've been wanting to do this for awhile but really needed to find a moment of clarity to guide me into that moment.

I host networking events & happy hours for friends. These are places where people gather to drink and socialize. With as many events as I attend, I tend to drink quite a few nights a week without realizing it along with a glass of wine while working in the evenings.

Working out as much as I have been recently with races upcoming & summer weekends at the pool, I realized I haven't been able to lose the weight around my middle like I had hoped. All the empty calories from wine and mixed drinks have been really unhelpful to my workout routine. Waking up at 6am to hit the gym or the trails has been inhibited by my long days, social drinking and late nights. My 6am self typically loses the debate of 'to run or not to run' and I end up needing to sleep longer.

Running a company takes a lot of vision, passion and focus of which I have a lot less when I am tired from being out socializing & drinking. I need every bit of clarity and excitement to get me through each and every 15-hour day. Being at the office at 8am and networking until 9pm gets really tiring when you're not on top of your game.

I'm not doing this because I believe I've hit 'alcoholic' status, I just feel it's time for a bit of a detox. When life isn't going exactly the way I planned I would have a drink to quiet my mind and stop worrying. I should have been turning to prayer, reading or finding another way to satiate my mind. Music is the way I've always escaped - listening, playing, singing - and I don't use that to really get out of my head. Time to get back into that.

It's been 6 days and I feel much stronger, more healthy and more energetic. Time to order a 7-up with lime or a juice spritzer instead of a martini when I hit the town. I'm excited about my challenge. I'm ready!