melanie's thoughts

...and the thoughts of her friends.

Entries tagged "trust"

Intentionality & Humanity

December 19, 2010

I've recently discovered just how human I am.

This past week I helped organize a group we ended up calling #MetroCarols. Our intentions were pure, our excitement for the holiday was intense and we love to sing. Cheering up the curmudgeons of the DC area on their miserable commute home was our plan & singing Christmas/holiday carols was what we thought would be best. Plan: Organize a flashmob that just happened to break out in carols randomly in metro stations.

Once word went out, my cohort & I realized that we had a much bigger sphere of influence, especially together, than we had any idea. The press & bloggers caught on and we had 150 people sign up. Things got out of control, he did an interview with the Examiner & once the press started posting articles about our plans, metro riders commented with a vengeance. After hearing about stun-guns, their wanting to punch us or push us off platforms, we took our plans off the public Facebook invitation so that we didn't end up doing what they accused us of: ruining their commute. 

By Monday, we had done some behind-the-scenes practicing with the trustworthy NPR & WUSA around to listen in & passed around our plan for where we were going that evening. At 11:30am, TBD & WashFM posted our PRIVATE schedule on their websites for all to see. Tears flooded my eyes and I realized that things had gotten out of hand. Although I was publicly accused of being ridiculous, I was honestly only afraid that if anyone was hurt due to the angry Metro riders showing up just to spite us, I would be left responsible for the tragedy. My humanity hit hard.

I called my cohort with overwhelming amounts of worry and told him I wanted to go home and cry myself to sleep. He had no intentions of backing down and satiated my worry by telling me that I needed to just come enjoy it in the spirit that we had planned in the first place - to spread cheer to commuters.

In a final change of plans so as not to allow anyone to get hurt, we moved to Dupont Circle, press surrounding us, as a group of 30 carolers, and sang joyfully with smiles & chills. The cold air caused us to sing Let It Snow & snowflakes started falling in a beautiful coincidence. Our joy was passed on to those leaving work that chilly Monday evening & DC commuters smiled at us as we moved closer to the Dupont escalator to sing a few more songs without impeding their rush home.

My smile got brighter the more we sang, our group gained momentum and carolers and we ended up singing the 12 Days of DC up and down the escalator & other carols into the Dupont station. After boarding a train & heading to Union Station, we started singing again & stood in a group caroling while people walked past with smiles & joy clearly showing on their faces.

Final outcome: Although my humanity almost got the best of me, we accomplished our main intentions - spread holiday cheer & make people smile - except with full press coverage.

PRESS & VIDEOS:

Check out what they wrote & said about us along with hearing us sing:

GREAT piece by NPR's Nate Rott

WUSA (Channel 9, CBS) coverage with videos of our rehearsal and of the event

Washington Post edited video:



Washington Post video on YouTube:


Washington Post article

Washington Post "Dr. Gridlock" blog about Metro

WeLoveDC's article

Waxing Unlyrical's article by Shonali Burke

Tags: accomplishments, anxiety, blessing, cheer, intentionality, humanity, doubt, encouragement, friendship, friendships, giving, growth, insecurities, journey, passion, self-awareness, trust, dc, washington dc, metro, wmata
Comments (2)
You should never have had such a hard time just to spread some holiday cheer. The media and grinches took this way out of context. DC has had several flash mobs and its nothing new. I was disappointed to miss the event because all the last minute changes and location updates. If you think about it, there are passive flash mobs going down all the time: a group of kids after school on the metro getting out of hand; a group of tourists talking loudly with each other in a language most don't understand; the bold homeless person or con artist posing as homeless running the metro cars asking for money; the people that stay out late and get intoxicated then get on metro and force people to listen to their ridiculous Jerry Springer type conversations.

Why is there always an issue when someone wants to do something positive and productive during the holidays vs sit quietly and conform to the drone syndrome? I say you and Jason were trying to do a good thing and break up the mundane me-me-me world. At least that's the way it appeared to me.

Cheers.
Posted by Nakeva on 12/20/10 | Reply
Thanks for posting this, Mel. I think, knowing us and what we're about, our friends understood what we wanted to do with this idea, though sadly a few comment trolls saw in our intentions only the most cynical aims. (Why are the most negative people always the loudest?) In any case, I agree, in the end we had a fun time, we got exactly what we had wanted in the beginning, and I know we brought some unexpected cheer to commuters, many of whom laughed and sang along.
Posted by Jason McCool on 12/20/10 | Reply
Add a comment

Fasting: Time to Start Saving

October 10, 2010

FAST: I will stop 'spending' for a year. From 10/10/10 to 10/09/11.

My dad is a spender. My mom is a saver. I realized at 30 that I take after my dad. My mom taught me to be a frugal shopper, only buying what I need and only really spending money on quality items. My dad was always taking us to lunch or buying flowers for my mom or giving more than I knew he could to the church.

I'm not a shopaholic nor do I spend outside my means. I'm a big giver when I do have money and often find great things for my friends or family and give more to the church when I have it. Every once in a while I'll go on a little splurge but I've never been in debt. I have no credit card debt, no outstanding loans... I also never have any money.

I buy quality clothes but not designer stuff. I make sure to have staple items in my closet for all occasions. I rent an apartment with a roommate and never buy ostentatious things. I have driven and paid off the car I bought 6 years ago and have no plans on an upgrade any time soon. I have a dog that I am quite self-sufficient with between cutting his hair and bathing him myself. I do trade to get massages and my hair colored. I do my own nails. My roommate & I keep our thermostat low in the winter and high in the summer. I know how to keep my grocery bill down. You get the point.

All of those things would typically mean that I could easily save money. Yes, living in the DC area (man, it's expensive) & being a new business owner (sacrificing salary & spending savings to get things started) are two of the biggest reasons for not saving much lately but there's something more than that.

What caused this epiphany? Two things:

  1. A girlfriend told me a story about a neighbor of hers who can't stop spending. Patra told that neighbor that if she didn't buy one piece of clothing for a year that no one would notice.
  2. A 23-year-old girl I know lost her job, her car & her home and decided to sell everything else and go on a tour of the US to write a book about the homeless in every state and she's doing it! Check out www.shaykelley.com

A switch flipped in my head and I looked around me. I have a closet stuffed full of clothing that all fits and works for every occasion. I have all the electronics I could want (camera, laptop, phone). I have a normal set of bills but nothing I'm paying off. Aside from the daily life stuff, I already have absolutely everything I need to comfortably live for a year.

As a working American, I have access to anything and everything I can possibly need or want. If I lost it all, what would I do? As a business owner, I have to trust myself enough to make sure I keep income flowing but do I really need to keep spending?

Spending money on things I don't absolutely need has stopped today. No more Starbucks, no more weekend trips to my parents, no more online shopping, no more wine, no more purchasing for myself or others, etc. I have everything I need and if I need anything, I can make gifts or borrow items from friends.

I will set a monthly budget & stick to it for the following things:

  • bills
  • toiletries
  • groceries
  • dining out
  • tithing

With the money I hope to save over the next year, I want to:

  1. Take a real vacation
  2. Give more to my church
  3. Put money into my retirement
  4. Build a savings

This is something I need to do if I want to do the things my heart longs to do. Working 7 days a week and never seeming to save is getting old. It's time I started acting my age and started thinking about my future. Being healthy physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially will allow me to be the woman I set out to be.

Saving starts now!

Tags: anxiety, business owner, community, fasting, goals, growth in Christ, growth, life changing, spiritual growth, worship, worry, training, trust
Comments (5)
You can do it!! Yay!!! Being a work-a-holic is tough, but it will pay off with less spending!
Posted by Cat on 11/04/10 | Reply
It's a great decision, and when I started my business I made the same commitment. I never thought about trading for massages/hair, but that's an awesome idea.
Posted by Tia on 10/12/10 | Reply
You go girl! Recently i found http://byebyebuy.blogspot.com/ and thought it was funny to read how they went a whole year without "buying anything." you might like to read her archives for a kick!

i'll be cheering for you and wishing i was as courageous as you are!
Posted by Seriously A Homemaker on 10/12/10 | Reply
These sound like great ideas. May I suggest that you also begin using cash instead of debit card for your budget items. It really helps you to stick to your weekly or monthly personal allowance. Good luck!
Posted by Kathleen on 10/11/10 | Reply
The decision to save for your future is a terrific one! Women live longer and too often devote more of their money to others' needs but not enough to protecting their own future and their retirement. And every entrepreneur needs a real vacation - to recharge, to enjoy life, to keep going. But keep the intent of your fasting idea, don't go overboard early and then give up or miss something important like family.
Posted by Patra on 10/11/10 | Reply
Add a comment

Struggling with Demons

September 30, 2009
Sitting in comfy clothes under warm blankets with a sleeping dog snuggled under a blanket next to me I realize that I have lost all thoughts of what I sat down to write. My mind meanders and stares at a wall inside my head waiting for something to zap it into attention. I think of the dancers I watched this evening in competition, the grace, fluidity of movement, peace. I think of those retired, unemployed, on vacation - quietly living their lives in a more peaceful state than my harried one. We all have worries, we all have misery sometimes but I now wonder why I allow things to get to me. My mother assured me that I have a really cool life and that I should really live it.

My thoughts drift to a dream I had last night. My friend, Shelly, a charismatic Christian, always tells me that if I want God's direction and His visions that I need to ask Him for them and be open to them. Sometimes I think she's just nuts but I know she speaks the truth. I have been struggling with one thing for about 18 months - the inability to walk away from someone that has me so entangled in it that I feel unable to leave the situation behind for good. Before I fell asleep I asked that God give me peace about leaving it behind. My dream brought me to a place that showed all my friends and family and I would leave them to go see this person without telling anyone where I was going. This continued for awhile which paralleled my life situation directly. I woke up at 3am in distress about this dream but fell back to sleep only to dream of being in a forest with the knowledge that I was to meet this person again but had misplaced my phone. I walked toward a house that I knew would have a phone but made a conscious decision to continue to walk by and go in a different direction only to leave that person with no way to contact me or me this person. I walked on and when I awoke this morning, I knew I had left the situation behind. Healing, a weight lifted, peace.

Now that I have allowed myself some space from that situation, I have been focusing on my office space situation. Up to this point, I have not been worried about renting this office space and to all who know me, they could visibly see how excited I was about it. Now that I have been approved and am moving forward with the lease, the little worry demon that seems to come around just when I'm feeling assured has crept back in to nag me. There are so many things going on and I have so many visions of what the next few months will hold but I am letting the little things pull me down and am causing myself anxiety over it. I have never needed to worry about having enough business. I've learned from so many other entrepreneur's mistakes. I know what I am doing. This seems to be a mind over matter issue that I will break. When my personal life is great, my work life isn't. When my work life is great, my personal life isn't. This is where I break that cycle. My personal life is fantastic and so is my work life. I will prevail.

Loneliness is something I continued to think I was fighting in my personal life until this past weekend. The loneliness demon is something that has had its talons in me for years. I was reassured by a very helpful and intelligent woman (my mother) this weekend who helped me see that I was not lonely and couldn't possibly be lonely. It was pure make-believe. Few people can say they have lots of people in their lives who care about them. I have more friends than I can count, more family (blood or not) than I realize and if I felt lonely, I have 150 people in my BlackBerry I could call to have an uplifting conversation with. What could possibly allow me to think that I could ever be lonely?

We all have doubts. We all worry about things. When we look back on the things we worried about, we realize how silly we were for doing so. Trust that God will take care of it for you and ask Him to do so. He wants us to lean on Him, that's why life isn't a merry-go-round. Let go of worry and let Him work in you. "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened unto you." Matthew 7:7 - I'm going to start asking and stop worrying. Easier said than done but a conscious effort will be made in all aspects of my life. He has given so much to me, I just need to take it.
Tags: trust, dreams, demons, peace, Matthew 7:7, God's power, visions, doubt, God
Comments (0)
Add a comment
Subscribe to RSS