melanie's thoughts

...and the thoughts of her friends.

Entries tagged "guidance"

Tithing to Support a Faith Community

November 28, 2010

When I was born, the first child in my family, my dad had only recently become a born again Christian. He was gung-ho for God and his faith is the reason I am still growing daily as a Christian. He has never let his faith waver in that God will take care of him and his family. Dad made such an impact on my faith. And I want to share more with you on my family's faith journey and also an incredible tithing story from the book "Crazy Love."

Growing up in WNY in one of the poorest counties in the whole state, we didn't have money. 6 people, 1 income, no more than $20,000/year for all of us to survive on and somehow we managed. My parents gave us each an allowance. 50cents a week. 35 to keep, 10 to save and 5 to tithe. I still appreciate my parents for how they taught us to spend, save and tithe.

I vividly remember Sundays when the offering plate was passed. No matter how much we didn't have, my dad always had a wad of bills to drop in that plate. I noticed that other families didn't put anything in the plate and wondered why my dad was different. When I was in my teens, I asked him why he gave so much to the church. He told me that God had asked him to and that because he was faithful, God would take care of us.

No one in my family had health insurance growing up until NY State passed a law that low income kids under 19 could have free health insurance. That happened when I was 17. With 4 kids to raise, my parents had complete faith that God would take care of them. Not once did something happen to any of us that caused my parents to worry about money. Oh sure, they worried, but they knew God would be there to listen. 

God listened and told our church that we didn't have money for groceries when my mother was too proud to even whisper that truth - grocery bags filled our porch without a note the morning my mother walked out our front door to go apply for welfare. The day the rent was due and we didn't have the money for it, God told someone to put cash in an envelope and leave it in our mailbox. No one knew we didn't have the money but God made sure to take care of us.

When I got older and established myself in a church, I would give halfheartedly and not because I wanted to, only because 'God told me to.' I didn't give because I felt called to or that there was something to give for... I wasn't even sure if the church would spend 'my money' the way I thought was best. I heard a song on the Christian station the other day that reminded me of myself back then. The lyrics say: I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church, I throw a twenty in the plate, but I never give ’til it hurts.

As most of you know, last April I lost my job and decided to restart my business instead of finding another job. Shortly after that happened, a friend gave me the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It's a book about God's crazy, relentless, all powerful love for us. There was a part of that book that talked about tithing and told a story of a man who lost his job and although he really wanted to keep giving the church what he had been, he didn't know if he could since he didn't have that income. He did a lot of praying and decided that instead of giving what he had been giving, he would give double and put his faith fully in God. 

Obviously that struck home with me. I had just lost my job, knew that I wasn't going to be able to pay myself any sort of salary from May to December due to taxes and the fact that growing a business doesn't happen overnight - I had no idea what I was going to do. I loved my church, this church... and knew I needed to keep giving, not just of my time but of all the resources God gave me. I decided to take a huge leap of faith and be like the man in Crazy Love... and like my dad. I started tithing double what I had been tithing before I lost my income. 

Yes, it might seem crazy to you for anyone to do that… and you're right, but I had to eat, keep a roof over my head and forge ahead with this new business while still paying all the bills. It takes full faith to do something like that and I wanted to know what that faith felt like.

When I did an assessment of last year's finances, I found that I had given 60% of my overall income to the church or other charities throughout the year... without anything more than my business just paying my living expenses from May to December. I never once went hungry, I didn't lose my apartment, my dog didn't die because I couldn't feed him, I had everything I could have needed and more. How? God took care of me. Little miracles. Teresa even had a chance to observe God’s gifts as they emerged.

Teresa saw the IRS put unexpected money into my checking account JUST when I wasn't able to buy groceries and gas. She saw my friends taking care of me. She saw the forgotten $3,000 from my retirement fund come through and pay employees when they needed it. She saw people remove themselves from my life and my business without the burden of unemployment.

God takes care of us... if we let Him. I am living proof. If you want that faith, the faith that you know God will take care of you, you have to trust Him and know that whatever you do ends up giving to His work and will go to exactly what is needed most. So I invite us to take a few minutes now and envision all that we are thankful for… and all our needs that have been met. With these gifts in clear view, how can we ‘throw a $20 in the plate but never give til it hurts?’

I love this church, you love this church; we’ve made it our home. Tithing isn’t about obligation, it’s about supporting the community we’ve built here. Don’t give because you feel like you have to, give because you know God is faithful to you and the rest of us.

--

Originally given as a talk at Church in Bethesda to the faith community during worship service. Huge thanks to Jill Foster for reviewing & providing me with incredible feedback. 

Tags: blessing, community, doubt, encouragement, fasting, faith, God, God\'s power, growth, growth in Christ, guidance, journey, peace, giving, spiritual growth, Spirituality, the bible, worry, worship
Comments (0)
Add a comment

Woman of Influence: Individual

February 25, 2010
It's an interesting thing being a woman. Reading the second chapter of Woman of Influence called "Individual: Discovering Your Leadership Style", I learned that women aren't inherently anything. We are all human beings just like the male population and have very different ways of doing things. We've been classified every which way from Tuesday and the world has finally realized that women shine in such different ways. Our lives and willpower can't be contained in a box or a kitchen. We need the freedom to be ourselves and get outside that box.

Women are very different from men - we work like men, at a steady pace, but tend to take breaks so we can refocus and re-energize. We are much more accessible and make a deliberate attempt to be. We tend to integrate home and work life and don't tend to have a definitive line between the two. Women tend to prefer live person contacts, are able to maintain a broad, complex network of relationships, have longer term focus, don't believe our career is how we define ourselves and love to share information & build relationships. This is powerful stuff. Men are pretty incredible and tend to have a better ability to see themselves as leaders but women are able to maintain a high level of energy. Obviously we need to fix how we see ourselves!

There are 5 types of leaders - we all fit into at least one of them. The test included in this chapter helped me realize that I'm a bit of a Provider, Proclaimer and above all, a Praiser. Let me explain:

1: Provider - Providers see a need and quietly go about providing it. They see the details, work quietly and consistently. Tend to be the people that keep organizations running.

2: Petitioner - Petitioners are advocates. They usually work in law or social work. They want to make a positive difference.

3: Preparer - Preparers are teachers. They want to give their knowledge away and give others the tools to be the best at what they can be.

4: Proclaimers - Proclaimers love to talk. They're usually drawn to sales, service, being a spokesperson or actor. They are storytellers and are typically not born proclaimers but raised to meet God's needs.

5: Praiser - Praisers lead by encouragement. They coach their teams to success. Typically have a strong faith and know God is running the show. They give praise to the people who work with them and stay in touch with people important to them.

I was a bit surprised that #5 was the highest out of all of them. #4 is definitely one that fits me well. I was really introverted as a child but thrive heavily on being around people, especially in my downtime. I enjoy the spotlight but am always trying to give all my knowledge to other people. It really shows me that I need to make sure to give my staff the appreciative notes, show my support for what they're doing and allow them to flourish by hearing that they are on the right track. I've always had a better time in a job when I am being told when things are going well. Many of my previous bosses would tell me when I did something wrong but rarely when they were excited about the good job I was doing.

God has a specific leadership style for you - maybe you don't know what it is or exactly how to be that leader but He will make sure you grow into it. I have learned more about myself and who I really want to be by becoming a boss. I learned from so many bosses in the past that I know what I want to do and definitely what I don't. Taking my leadership style and honing it to fit just what my staff needs is key.

This passes over into the other portions of our lives. In relationships, in friendships, with family, with church family, with acquaintances, with life in general - we need to be the best leader we can be. We don't have to be 'over' or 'above' someone else but we can show by example that we are influential in the most positive way we can be.

Be an individual. You're not like everyone else. Enjoy it and learn how to use it the best way you can!
Tags: growth in Christ, goals, guidance, individual, spiritual growth, leadership, God, encouragement
Comments (0)
Add a comment
Subscribe to RSS