melanie’s thoughts

...and the thoughts of her friends

Entries tagged "growth"

New Habits: Breaking the Mind & Body

November 28, 2011

Hebrews 12:7 - Endure hardship as discipline...

Standing at my counter while I make dinner, sweat drips off the back of my hair and onto my neck. It's Monday night and I just finished a really hard BodyCombat class. On Thursday, I ran the Turkey Chase 10K in 56min with my friend, David (@dcborn61). On Saturday, Joshua & I ran a 4+mile hill run and on Sunday, we hiked Stony Brook Park (and by hiked, I mean, climbed a LOT of precarious stairs up to the top of a mountain so we could see the falls pictured here). My muscles ache, I really need a shower and I'm starving, but man, I feel incredible.

I'm inspired to do something.

Evernote reminded me that I had notes from last Sunday (thank you for the sync from my phone!) and after reading through them, I realized that this is something that is obviously on my heart. Pastor Todd (@swirlyfoot) gave a sermon at Church in Bethesda about the saints. He talked about the tough things they went through to become saints but they were never all talk. They had action behind their talk & endured hardship. The sermon was pointed at getting off our butts & doing something instead of just talking about it. Todd told us that each of us could be a saint in our own right if we stopped just formulating ideas and went out to put them into action.

My initial thoughts for this post were about formulating a plan for the next month to get off my butt and show myself what I'm made of physically. The verse above, Hebrews 12:7, is the beginning of a few verses (seriously, go read them) that talk about how God is our Father disciplines us for our own good and and how even when our earthly fathers have done the same, we've respected them. Being able to discipline ourselves to action allows us to correct our own paths.

MIND:
Based on what the Bible is saying here, I know I must discipline my thoughts, my words and my actions to make sure I am wholly good and holy for Him. If I can do that, I'll be wholly good to everyone around me. Being a Christian is so much more than just going to church on Sunday and praying over dinner. And although some of you may not agree with me, being a Christian isn't about just telling everyone that God will save them. Being a Christian is about being an upstanding member of your community in everything you do. It's about who you are when nobody is watching AND when everyone is watching. Finding myself standing here knowing that I'm a leader in my small community, I know it's time to correct my path.

I've always struggled with prayer and downtime. I've always had a hard time just quieting my mind. Running helps  me quiet my mind (we'll get to that next) but otherwise, I'm a million miles per hour in thought. Being able to refocus my thoughts will allow me to be a better Christian AND a generally better human to my community. Ever been around yogis? They're incredibly peaceful to everyone around them. Hmm... we'll see how this goes.
 
BODY:
This goes back to me sweating and feeling amazing yet painful after a few straight days of working out. I'm disciplining my body to do what I want it to and it's respecting me for it. For the last few years, I've been pushing myself to do more but then I fall into a comfortable pattern and end up working out only 3x a week.. maybe. This year, running has become something of an addiction for me but sometimes what I put in my body (fried food, alcohol, etc) doesn't allow me to have the drive to get up and run the next morning. While in this space, I always wonder (even though I know) why I can't break the barrier that shows me what I'm really capable of. In order for me to see results from this discipline of my body, I need to get off my butt and make it a reality.

If you repeat a behavior over and over, it becomes a habit.

My plan is to make these two behaviors good habits. Thanksgiving is now over and Christmas is on its way. These aren't insane plans for having a killer body or being a Christian saint, but they are simple actions that I want to become a part of my lifestyle, not just a phase.

4-WEEK NEW HABITS CHALLENGE:
MIND:
- commit to praying every morning & every evening
- commit to 15-min of quiet time for just reflection every day
- commit to being in bed by 11pm & waking up by 6am every day
- commit to tracking thoughts on paper daily

BODY:
- commit to 30-60min of exercise every day
- commit to eating & drinking only healthy
- commit to stretching every morning
- commit to tracking exercise on DailyMile.com daily

Now that I've written it down and said I'd do it, it's on. I'm ready... are you?

 

Category: Christian Life :: Tags: christian, accomplishments, barefoot running, being a Christian, being happy, being healthy, body conditioning, Christian life, encouragement, enjoying life, leadership, fasting, feeling good, goals, God, God\'s power, growth in Christ, Godly life, growth, havits, happiness, humanity, i love running, journey, intentionality, life changing, living life, motivation, peace, patience, peaceful prayer, prayer, quiet reflection, reflection, running, self-awareness, spirituality, spiritual growth, strength training, the bible, thoughts, worship :: Comments (1)
Joshua says: (11/29/11)
1 Corinthians 9: 24-27. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 25 every athlete exercises self control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we are imperishable. 26 so I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air 27 but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Since the ultimate goal is to be like Christ I thought this passage was pretty relevant to what you're trying to accomplish. Keep up the good work and be faithful to our God. He is so good. Reply
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Intentionality & Humanity

December 19, 2010

I've recently discovered just how human I am.

This past week I helped organize a group we ended up calling #MetroCarols. Our intentions were pure, our excitement for the holiday was intense and we love to sing. Cheering up the curmudgeons of the DC area on their miserable commute home was our plan & singing Christmas/holiday carols was what we thought would be best. Plan: Organize a flashmob that just happened to break out in carols randomly in metro stations.

Once word went out, my cohort & I realized that we had a much bigger sphere of influence, especially together, than we had any idea. The press & bloggers caught on and we had 150 people sign up. Things got out of control, he did an interview with the Examiner & once the press started posting articles about our plans, metro riders commented with a vengeance. After hearing about stun-guns, their wanting to punch us or push us off platforms, we took our plans off the public Facebook invitation so that we didn't end up doing what they accused us of: ruining their commute. 

By Monday, we had done some behind-the-scenes practicing with the trustworthy NPR & WUSA around to listen in & passed around our plan for where we were going that evening. At 11:30am, TBD & WashFM posted our PRIVATE schedule on their websites for all to see. Tears flooded my eyes and I realized that things had gotten out of hand. Although I was publicly accused of being ridiculous, I was honestly only afraid that if anyone was hurt due to the angry Metro riders showing up just to spite us, I would be left responsible for the tragedy. My humanity hit hard.

I called my cohort with overwhelming amounts of worry and told him I wanted to go home and cry myself to sleep. He had no intentions of backing down and satiated my worry by telling me that I needed to just come enjoy it in the spirit that we had planned in the first place - to spread cheer to commuters.

In a final change of plans so as not to allow anyone to get hurt, we moved to Dupont Circle, press surrounding us, as a group of 30 carolers, and sang joyfully with smiles & chills. The cold air caused us to sing Let It Snow & snowflakes started falling in a beautiful coincidence. Our joy was passed on to those leaving work that chilly Monday evening & DC commuters smiled at us as we moved closer to the Dupont escalator to sing a few more songs without impeding their rush home.

My smile got brighter the more we sang, our group gained momentum and carolers and we ended up singing the 12 Days of DC up and down the escalator & other carols into the Dupont station. After boarding a train & heading to Union Station, we started singing again & stood in a group caroling while people walked past with smiles & joy clearly showing on their faces.

Final outcome: Although my humanity almost got the best of me, we accomplished our main intentions - spread holiday cheer & make people smile - except with full press coverage.


PRESS & VIDEOS:

Check out what they wrote & said about us along with hearing us sing:

GREAT piece by NPR's Nate Rott

WUSA (Channel 9, CBS) coverage with videos of our rehearsal and of the event

Washington Post edited video:



Washington Post video on YouTube:


Washington Post article

Washington Post "Dr. Gridlock" blog about Metro

WeLoveDC's article

Waxing Unlyrical's article by Shonali Burke

Category: Living Life :: Tags: accomplishments, anxiety, blessing, cheer, intentionality, humanity, doubt, encouragement, friendship, friendships, giving, growth, insecurities, journey, passion, self-awareness, trust, dc, washington dc, metro, wmata :: Comments (2)
Nakeva says: (12/20/10)
You should never have had such a hard time just to spread some holiday cheer. The media and grinches took this way out of context. DC has had several flash mobs and its nothing new. I was disappointed to miss the event because all the last minute changes and location updates. If you think about it, there are passive flash mobs going down all the time: a group of kids after school on the metro getting out of hand; a group of tourists talking loudly with each other in a language most don't understand; the bold homeless person or con artist posing as homeless running the metro cars asking for money; the people that stay out late and get intoxicated then get on metro and force people to listen to their ridiculous Jerry Springer type conversations.

Why is there always an issue when someone wants to do something positive and productive during the holidays vs sit quietly and conform to the drone syndrome? I say you and Jason were trying to do a good thing and break up the mundane me-me-me world. At least that's the way it appeared to me.

Cheers. Reply
Jason McCool says: (12/20/10)
Thanks for posting this, Mel. I think, knowing us and what we're about, our friends understood what we wanted to do with this idea, though sadly a few comment trolls saw in our intentions only the most cynical aims. (Why are the most negative people always the loudest?) In any case, I agree, in the end we had a fun time, we got exactly what we had wanted in the beginning, and I know we brought some unexpected cheer to commuters, many of whom laughed and sang along. Reply
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Tithing to Support a Faith Community

November 28, 2010

When I was born, the first child in my family, my dad had only recently become a born again Christian. He was gung-ho for God and his faith is the reason I am still growing daily as a Christian. He has never let his faith waver in that God will take care of him and his family. Dad made such an impact on my faith. And I want to share more with you on my family's faith journey and also an incredible tithing story from the book "Crazy Love."

Growing up in WNY in one of the poorest counties in the whole state, we didn't have money. 6 people, 1 income, no more than $20,000/year for all of us to survive on and somehow we managed. My parents gave us each an allowance. 50cents a week. 35 to keep, 10 to save and 5 to tithe. I still appreciate my parents for how they taught us to spend, save and tithe.

I vividly remember Sundays when the offering plate was passed. No matter how much we didn't have, my dad always had a wad of bills to drop in that plate. I noticed that other families didn't put anything in the plate and wondered why my dad was different. When I was in my teens, I asked him why he gave so much to the church. He told me that God had asked him to and that because he was faithful, God would take care of us.

No one in my family had health insurance growing up until NY State passed a law that low income kids under 19 could have free health insurance. That happened when I was 17. With 4 kids to raise, my parents had complete faith that God would take care of them. Not once did something happen to any of us that caused my parents to worry about money. Oh sure, they worried, but they knew God would be there to listen. 

God listened and told our church that we didn't have money for groceries when my mother was too proud to even whisper that truth - grocery bags filled our porch without a note the morning my mother walked out our front door to go apply for welfare. The day the rent was due and we didn't have the money for it, God told someone to put cash in an envelope and leave it in our mailbox. No one knew we didn't have the money but God made sure to take care of us.

When I got older and established myself in a church, I would give halfheartedly and not because I wanted to, only because 'God told me to.' I didn't give because I felt called to or that there was something to give for... I wasn't even sure if the church would spend 'my money' the way I thought was best. I heard a song on the Christian station the other day that reminded me of myself back then. The lyrics say: I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church, I throw a twenty in the plate, but I never give ’til it hurts.

As most of you know, last April I lost my job and decided to restart my business instead of finding another job. Shortly after that happened, a friend gave me the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It's a book about God's crazy, relentless, all powerful love for us. There was a part of that book that talked about tithing and told a story of a man who lost his job and although he really wanted to keep giving the church what he had been, he didn't know if he could since he didn't have that income. He did a lot of praying and decided that instead of giving what he had been giving, he would give double and put his faith fully in God. 

Obviously that struck home with me. I had just lost my job, knew that I wasn't going to be able to pay myself any sort of salary from May to December due to taxes and the fact that growing a business doesn't happen overnight - I had no idea what I was going to do. I loved my church, this church... and knew I needed to keep giving, not just of my time but of all the resources God gave me. I decided to take a huge leap of faith and be like the man in Crazy Love... and like my dad. I started tithing double what I had been tithing before I lost my income. 

Yes, it might seem crazy to you for anyone to do that… and you're right, but I had to eat, keep a roof over my head and forge ahead with this new business while still paying all the bills. It takes full faith to do something like that and I wanted to know what that faith felt like.

When I did an assessment of last year's finances, I found that I had given 60% of my overall income to the church or other charities throughout the year... without anything more than my business just paying my living expenses from May to December. I never once went hungry, I didn't lose my apartment, my dog didn't die because I couldn't feed him, I had everything I could have needed and more. How? God took care of me. Little miracles. Teresa even had a chance to observe God’s gifts as they emerged.

Teresa saw the IRS put unexpected money into my checking account JUST when I wasn't able to buy groceries and gas. She saw my friends taking care of me. She saw the forgotten $3,000 from my retirement fund come through and pay employees when they needed it. She saw people remove themselves from my life and my business without the burden of unemployment.

God takes care of us... if we let Him. I am living proof. If you want that faith, the faith that you know God will take care of you, you have to trust Him and know that whatever you do ends up giving to His work and will go to exactly what is needed most. So I invite us to take a few minutes now and envision all that we are thankful for… and all our needs that have been met. With these gifts in clear view, how can we ‘throw a $20 in the plate but never give til it hurts?’

I love this church, you love this church; we’ve made it our home. Tithing isn’t about obligation, it’s about supporting the community we’ve built here. Don’t give because you feel like you have to, give because you know God is faithful to you and the rest of us.

--

Originally given as a talk at Church in Bethesda to the faith community during worship service. Huge thanks to Jill Foster for reviewing & providing me with incredible feedback. 

Category: Christian Life :: Tags: blessing, community, doubt, encouragement, fasting, faith, God, God\'s power, growth, growth in Christ, guidance, journey, peace, giving, spiritual growth, Spirituality, the bible, worry, worship :: Comments (0)
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Fasting: Time to Start Saving

October 10, 2010

FAST: I will stop 'spending' for a year. From 10/10/10 to 10/09/11.

My dad is a spender. My mom is a saver. I realized at 30 that I take after my dad. My mom taught me to be a frugal shopper, only buying what I need and only really spending money on quality items. My dad was always taking us to lunch or buying flowers for my mom or giving more than I knew he could to the church.

I'm not a shopaholic nor do I spend outside my means. I'm a big giver when I do have money and often find great things for my friends or family and give more to the church when I have it. Every once in a while I'll go on a little splurge but I've never been in debt. I have no credit card debt, no outstanding loans... I also never have any money.

I buy quality clothes but not designer stuff. I make sure to have staple items in my closet for all occasions. I rent an apartment with a roommate and never buy ostentatious things. I have driven and paid off the car I bought 6 years ago and have no plans on an upgrade any time soon. I have a dog that I am quite self-sufficient with between cutting his hair and bathing him myself. I do trade to get massages and my hair colored. I do my own nails. My roommate & I keep our thermostat low in the winter and high in the summer. I know how to keep my grocery bill down. You get the point.

All of those things would typically mean that I could easily save money. Yes, living in the DC area (man, it's expensive) & being a new business owner (sacrificing salary & spending savings to get things started) are two of the biggest reasons for not saving much lately but there's something more than that.

What caused this epiphany? Two things:

  1. A girlfriend told me a story about a neighbor of hers who can't stop spending. Patra told that neighbor that if she didn't buy one piece of clothing for a year that no one would notice.
  2. A 23-year-old girl I know lost her job, her car & her home and decided to sell everything else and go on a tour of the US to write a book about the homeless in every state and she's doing it! Check out www.shaykelley.com

A switch flipped in my head and I looked around me. I have a closet stuffed full of clothing that all fits and works for every occasion. I have all the electronics I could want (camera, laptop, phone). I have a normal set of bills but nothing I'm paying off. Aside from the daily life stuff, I already have absolutely everything I need to comfortably live for a year.

As a working American, I have access to anything and everything I can possibly need or want. If I lost it all, what would I do? As a business owner, I have to trust myself enough to make sure I keep income flowing but do I really need to keep spending?

Spending money on things I don't absolutely need has stopped today. No more Starbucks, no more weekend trips to my parents, no more online shopping, no more wine, no more purchasing for myself or others, etc. I have everything I need and if I need anything, I can make gifts or borrow items from friends.

I will set a monthly budget & stick to it for the following things:

  • bills
  • toiletries
  • groceries
  • dining out
  • tithing

With the money I hope to save over the next year, I want to:

  1. Take a real vacation
  2. Give more to my church
  3. Put money into my retirement
  4. Build a savings

This is something I need to do if I want to do the things my heart longs to do. Working 7 days a week and never seeming to save is getting old. It's time I started acting my age and started thinking about my future. Being healthy physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially will allow me to be the woman I set out to be.

Saving starts now!

Category: Uncategorized :: Tags: anxiety, business owner, community, fasting, goals, growth in Christ, growth, life changing, spiritual growth, worship, worry, training, trust :: Comments (5)
Cat says: (11/04/10)
You can do it!! Yay!!! Being a work-a-holic is tough, but it will pay off with less spending! Reply
Tia says: (10/12/10)
It's a great decision, and when I started my business I made the same commitment. I never thought about trading for massages/hair, but that's an awesome idea. Reply
Seriously A Homemaker says: (10/12/10)
You go girl! Recently i found http://byebyebuy.blogspot.com/ and thought it was funny to read how they went a whole year without "buying anything." you might like to read her archives for a kick!

i'll be cheering for you and wishing i was as courageous as you are! Reply
Kathleen says: (10/11/10)
These sound like great ideas. May I suggest that you also begin using cash instead of debit card for your budget items. It really helps you to stick to your weekly or monthly personal allowance. Good luck! Reply
Patra says: (10/11/10)
The decision to save for your future is a terrific one! Women live longer and too often devote more of their money to others' needs but not enough to protecting their own future and their retirement. And every entrepreneur needs a real vacation - to recharge, to enjoy life, to keep going. But keep the intent of your fasting idea, don't go overboard early and then give up or miss something important like family. Reply
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downloaded brain

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