melanie's thoughts

...and the thoughts of her friends.

Entries tagged "God's power"

Drop the Trifle

June 15, 2010

I write a lot about relationships - friends, love, family, God, and work. Life has us wrapped up in relationships, most of which are good but some are not the ones we should have. My life has consisted of lots of incredible friendships, hard family relationships, a back-and-forth God relationship, good and bad work relationships and terrible love relationships for the most part.

My dear friend, Diana, told me that I need to let go of the bad relationships and move forward in my incredible ones so I can find the peace I need inside myself. This is such a big struggle in my life. I tend to reach out for the relationships I shouldn't have because they are a challenge and I like to fix things. I end up getting hurt badly by them but go back again and again. I have too many of these relationships in my life right now and can't find a way to walk away from them.

I keep a little devotional book on my desk at the office called Hope for Each Day by Billy Graham. It's a short verse with a 1-page devotional, quick and easy. This morning I walked into my office with a headache, miserable at myself for not going running and had to deal with a lazy employee which just ended up making me really angry. I was also thinking about relationships I have in my life right now that I know I need to walk away from.

The devotion for today reminded me that God knows everything and puts things in our way to show us He's really there. It reads:

Accept God's Freedom
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  James 4:8

One day a little child was playing with a valuable vase. He put his hand into it and could not take it out. His father, too, tried his best to get the little boy's hand out. but all in vain. They were thinking of breaking the vase whtn the father said, "Now, my song, make one more try. Open your hand and hold your fingers out straight as you see me doing and then pull."

To the father's astonishment the little fellow said, "Oh no, Daddy. I couldn't put my fingers out like that because if I did I would drop my penny."

Smile if you will - but thousands of us are like that little boy, so busy holding on to the world's worthless trifes that we cannot accept God's freedom.

What "trifle" is keeping you from God? A sin you won't let go of? An unworthy goal you are determined to reach? A dishonorable relationship you won't give up? I beg you to drop that trifle in your heart. Surrender! Let go and let God have His way with your life.

I believe that God is in charge and really knows my pain and misery in these. I do have relationships that are sinful, dishonorable and painful. They cause me hurt and headaches and I need to let go of them so I can move forward in the way God has asked me to.

What relationships are you still holding onto that you should let go of? Take it to Him and ask Him to help you remove them. I'll try to do it first and let you know how it goes.

Tags: anxiety, Christian, devotions, encouragement, friendship, God, God's power, growth in Christ, habis, relationships, self-awareness, spiritual growth,
Comments (1)
Melanie,

Your posts are always so open and honest, it's admirable. It is also those same strengths that can be one's biggest weakness in dealing with toxic relationships. An open, honest person is usually paired with a big, soft heart - making it so, so tough to walk away. I can't offer any advice, as I am guilty of similar habits, other than stay strong in your convictions - recognizing which one's are negative is the first step.

Lisa.
Posted by Lisa B. on 06/17/10 | Reply
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Private Life

June 12, 2010

A local radio announcer had a 'positive tip of the day' a few weeks ago:  "Your private life says more about you than your public life." It really got me thinking about the things in my life that are private, things I would hate for others to find out about.

One of my dear friends, Rashmee, passed away suddenly recently. She was here, then she wasn't. Gone without warning. Her little light left this world and a mark on all of us left behind. She was such a darling young woman who gave so much to the people around her. Her life was marked by having so many people who loved her. When she died, I started thinking about everything she left behind unfinished or hidden. Did she have things she hoped no one would find? It wasn't her time to go. Did she have relationships, emails, pictures, things that she didn't expect anyone to ever see? I doubt it. She lived in a clean life with clean friends and a loving family. She had nothing to complete, just a lot of living to do.

My life has come under serious scrutiny by myself. Looking at every aspect of who I am, what I am, where I am, what I have, everything - has really made me stop and think about where I am going. If I died today, would people find things they didn't know about me? What would they think of me? Would their perception of me change?

God asks us as Christians to live our lives in accordance to His gospel - to walk as Christians in all aspects of our lives. Rules for Practical Christian Living is found in Ephesians 5.

Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. - Ephesians 5:15-21

Being a Christian and walking in His light, without losing our inhibitions or who we are as true Christians, is all He asks. 'Do not get drunk with wine' is not just warning against drunkenness, it's telling us that when we get drunk we lose our discernment and act in ways we wouldn't if we weren't drunk. Excessive anything is not living the way He has asked us.

Walking on a straight and narrow path allows us to face the right direction, continuing along in the way we are supposed to and in every aspect of our lives. It doesn't just ask us to be public figures as Christians, but also in our private lives. Recently I've been hearing a Christian artist say that it's easy for us to confess our sins to God but it's not easy to tell others of our indiscretions. We should tell those around us about what we've done so we can have more desire to change our sinful ways.

Think about the skeletons in your closet, the things you want to get off your chest, the things you have hidden in drawers or boxes so no one finds them... all the things someone might find out if you died suddenly. Are you prepared to leave behind the memories of who you are and what you have? Think about it and start cleaning out your life. I'm cleaning mine out. As much as I am a Christian that doesn't mean I have nothing to hide. Why would I want people to know about the sinful person I am?

Thank you, my dear little Rashmee, for making things more clear in my life. Thank you, my heavenly Father, for listening to my sins and forgiving me for them. Thank you, my friends, for listening and supporting me through all of life's changes and decisions. Now it's time to make it happen.

Tags: Christian, community, devotions, encouragement, faith, forgiveness, friendships, God, God's power, growth in Christ, habits, journey, life changing, peace, prayer, relationships, self-awareness, Spirituality, spiritual growth, the bible
Comments (1)
Melanie,
What you wrote is beautiful. It reflects growth and maturity. I hope others heed to your advice. I agree with your opening statement that one's private life speaks more of the person. If I leave suddenly, I hope folks remember me fondly with the love and kindness I showed them. I look forward to our friendship growing.
Posted by Julie on 07/08/10 | Reply
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Woman of Influence: Intimate

March 31, 2010
Intimacy has been a huge struggle for me my entire life in various forms. Don't get me wrong, I've had great relationships and friendships but have always had an internal struggle between God and human. I want so badly to be a godly woman and show that to everyone in my life but I find myself shying away from having both God and a relationship with others at the same time.

The third chapter of Woman of Influence talks about intimacy and connecting with our creator. It talks about spiritual emptiness and how we need to have an actual relationship with God. My women's bible study group aka 'women's support group' met last week regarding spiritual dryness and how we can cope with it, react to it and grow from it. We talked a lot about how we all experience it and what God does in that space to break us and make us stronger women for Him.

It's hard being in an empty place. It feels very lonely and ends up making us feeling like we're completely alone when we have such strong women around us to support us - we just have to go talk to them! We need to be intimate with our girlfriends and if we don't have them, we need to actively find some. Humans weren't built to do things alone - we were meant to be coupled - not only in marriages but in friendships.

God is sometimes a figure we feel we can't touch. A guy in the sky without feelings and too far away to hold you. He's not - He feels... deeply. He wept even when He knew He would raise His friend from the dead. It touched Him. The things you got through touch Him.

Carol Kent's book When I Lay Me Down is quoted saying 'when the unthinkable circumstances enter your life, there comes a point when you either stand by what you believe or you walk away from it.' "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) People always quote 'God said He'd never give you anything you can't handle' when in reality He said 'I'll be with you even in the times you feel you can't handle things.' He's there. He walks with you - He holds you. He carries you through the roughest stuff. He's so gentle that it's hard to feel Him when He's wrapped around you deflecting all of it.

God wants you to spend time with Him. He yearns for you to find time to be quiet with Him. In this chapter, Pam says that a woman of influence is wise to protect her quiet connections with God. Each woman will find her own intimacy rhythm. The goal is intimacy, not legalistic ritual.

I know I need to pray relentlessly, especially when big decisions need to be made, I just don't seem to pray like other people do. I pray through singing and worship through music. CS Lewis is quoted 'I pray because the need flows out of me all the time... it [prayer] doesn't change God, it changes me.' The way I connect with God is through singing - it just flows out of me. I surround myself with Christian music when at work, in the car, running, at the gym, everywhere. It feels like we're connected - intimate. 'Intimacy means being with Jesus... God knows your life and will meet you there,' says Pam.

Don't forget to encourage each other while God is nurturing you. A simple touch is all you need to stay connected and have power over the things going on in your life. It can influence your heart and then influence others. Pam lists 30 ways to live out the intimacy. I chose a few that fit my life and how I commune with Him.

1. Make your prayers more concrete by writing them out as a letter to Jesus.
2. Go on a prayer walk, talking to the Lord as you walk along.
7. Sing during your entire time with God. You may want to try your hand at songwriting too.
11. Write out a Philippians 4:8 list. What is lovely to you, worthy of praise, excellent and so on.
18. Make a promise notebook. List areas of hurt or need in your life. As you come to a verse that shows how God can meet the need, write it down. You're creating your own book of promises.
26. Write and thank people who helped you grow in your walk with God this year. Or write to mentors from the past.
29. Exercise to Christian music!!!

I will find 5 minutes to spend with Christ every day - it's not hard. Just find a little quiet time - His smile seems to grow brighter when you fit Him into your hectic day. It will help you be a woman of influence when you're relaxed in Him.
Tags: growth in Christ, woman, Spirituality, God's power, spiritual growth
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Looking Upward

October 16, 2009
"A worrying Christian is better called an Atheist," my pastor said in a sermon once. We believe that God will take care of things and then start worrying about all the details. Shouldn't we leave it all up to Him, leaning on Him knowing that He always takes care of things? Easier said than done for the mere mortals we are.

It always seems that when one thing goes bad that a bunch of others have to go with it. It can't just be a friendship ending, it has to be family issues and financial stuff added to it. When I start worrying about things I can't sleep, I don't eat and my back gets all tensed up. I end up a wreck and wondering where things went wrong. Most people feel this way when their life just gets completely out of whack.

When bad things happen, our first reaction is to ask ourselves what we did. I know that some of the things that have gone bad recently are because of my big mouth and others are things that are deep hurts from half a lifetime ago that won't ever be healed properly. Otherwise, we and the people around us may ask if we have a secret sin that could have caused God's wrath. If we are walking with God and knowing that He is in charge, we need to stop looking inward and start looking upward. Even 'good Christians' sin - we all do. No one can escape it and no one will be perfect but our walk needs to be in line with where God is going so that we can continue to be forgiven.

I was raised to feel guilt, lots and lots of guilt. My parents didn't exactly make me feel this way but the church definitely did. They list sins and tell you that you need to make sure not to commit them or God will let Satan take over. The church has a great way of making 'fire & brimstone' statements that scare us into God's presence instead of realizing that God is a loving God with His arms open wide.

The mindset I have had for 30 years is that if I commit a sin, I'll be punished for it. If I don't do exactly as I'm told, I'll have things taken away. I live wondering daily if something I did, thought or said recently might have caused the grief in my life. Wondering if God will cause my business to stop being profitable if I think something bad about someone. I try so very hard to live the way He has asked me but the guilt that wells up in me makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to attain what He has set out for me.

This last month has shown me that people can change if they put their mind to it.
  • Removing all soul-ties to past relationships that need not be in my future was a tough but rewarding thing I accomplished recently and continue to accomplish every day.
  • Putting God first in my life and making sure I spend some time with His word and in prayer each day has been very focusing.
  • Growing a business that will help businesses grow, help my employees build a knowledge-base for future use and give me the satisfaction that I am making a difference has been a challenge that I've jumped into with both feet.
  • Reading my devotions and other books that will allow me to see things from a different perspective.
  • Being more active in the community around me and in my church family.
I have been reading 'Humility: True Greatness' by CJ Mahaney and 'The Peacemaker' by Ken Sande lately and have been finding so many things in my life and reactions to others that need to be changed. Growth is the keyword for my 30th year of life and taking that step into the unknown of my 30's is something I want to do with grace, patience, humility and excitement. Worrying will always be something I do but I plan to start looking upward more than inward wondering what I did wrong to deserve the pain.

I hope you find peace in looking up, at whatever you think is up there.
Tags: goals, peace, God's power, worry, anxiety, reading, God
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Struggling with Demons

September 30, 2009
Sitting in comfy clothes under warm blankets with a sleeping dog snuggled under a blanket next to me I realize that I have lost all thoughts of what I sat down to write. My mind meanders and stares at a wall inside my head waiting for something to zap it into attention. I think of the dancers I watched this evening in competition, the grace, fluidity of movement, peace. I think of those retired, unemployed, on vacation - quietly living their lives in a more peaceful state than my harried one. We all have worries, we all have misery sometimes but I now wonder why I allow things to get to me. My mother assured me that I have a really cool life and that I should really live it.

My thoughts drift to a dream I had last night. My friend, Shelly, a charismatic Christian, always tells me that if I want God's direction and His visions that I need to ask Him for them and be open to them. Sometimes I think she's just nuts but I know she speaks the truth. I have been struggling with one thing for about 18 months - the inability to walk away from someone that has me so entangled in it that I feel unable to leave the situation behind for good. Before I fell asleep I asked that God give me peace about leaving it behind. My dream brought me to a place that showed all my friends and family and I would leave them to go see this person without telling anyone where I was going. This continued for awhile which paralleled my life situation directly. I woke up at 3am in distress about this dream but fell back to sleep only to dream of being in a forest with the knowledge that I was to meet this person again but had misplaced my phone. I walked toward a house that I knew would have a phone but made a conscious decision to continue to walk by and go in a different direction only to leave that person with no way to contact me or me this person. I walked on and when I awoke this morning, I knew I had left the situation behind. Healing, a weight lifted, peace.

Now that I have allowed myself some space from that situation, I have been focusing on my office space situation. Up to this point, I have not been worried about renting this office space and to all who know me, they could visibly see how excited I was about it. Now that I have been approved and am moving forward with the lease, the little worry demon that seems to come around just when I'm feeling assured has crept back in to nag me. There are so many things going on and I have so many visions of what the next few months will hold but I am letting the little things pull me down and am causing myself anxiety over it. I have never needed to worry about having enough business. I've learned from so many other entrepreneur's mistakes. I know what I am doing. This seems to be a mind over matter issue that I will break. When my personal life is great, my work life isn't. When my work life is great, my personal life isn't. This is where I break that cycle. My personal life is fantastic and so is my work life. I will prevail.

Loneliness is something I continued to think I was fighting in my personal life until this past weekend. The loneliness demon is something that has had its talons in me for years. I was reassured by a very helpful and intelligent woman (my mother) this weekend who helped me see that I was not lonely and couldn't possibly be lonely. It was pure make-believe. Few people can say they have lots of people in their lives who care about them. I have more friends than I can count, more family (blood or not) than I realize and if I felt lonely, I have 150 people in my BlackBerry I could call to have an uplifting conversation with. What could possibly allow me to think that I could ever be lonely?

We all have doubts. We all worry about things. When we look back on the things we worried about, we realize how silly we were for doing so. Trust that God will take care of it for you and ask Him to do so. He wants us to lean on Him, that's why life isn't a merry-go-round. Let go of worry and let Him work in you. "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened unto you." Matthew 7:7 - I'm going to start asking and stop worrying. Easier said than done but a conscious effort will be made in all aspects of my life. He has given so much to me, I just need to take it.
Tags: trust, dreams, demons, peace, Matthew 7:7, God's power, visions, doubt, God
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The No-Plan Plan

September 5, 2009
It's Saturday morning, 9am and I am exhausted from the last few weeks of endless stress, worry, busy life, networking events, running a business, being social and so much more. When I got home at 2am, I had shut my shades and curtains so I could sleep in. Stress pain from 3 years ago is back in full effect along with the pain from being in a porch swing accident 4 weeks ago. Waking up in pain is not comforting nor does it make you want to get out of bed on a Saturday morning (or any morning). Bailey crawls up next to me demanding to be touched and I lay there realizing how much I wish I had someone to hold me... a man, my mother, a friend... just to be held and comforted. Tears start streaming down my face, which seems to be a combination of physical pain and emotional pain. I grab my phone and IM Teresa while laying in bed, telling her these wishes and she promptly tells me to get pain medication and figure out a plan for the day. Our mothers are both 'deal with it' kind of people and both of us enjoy a bit of babying so she understands my need for comfort.

Knowing that my real plan for the day was to clean my house, get laundry done and do some catching up for work, I send a quick text to my fantastic friend Shelly-Belly and let her know I have no definitive plans for the weekend which prompts her to call me and announce she is at a flea market but free for the day. This causes us to realize that we should spend the day together so we devise a quick hiking scenario for Front Royal, VA and Shenandoah National Park. My face quickly turns from sadness to cheeriness. My gloomy outlook on my day became a bright and sunny outlook. As I opened my curtains, the sun opened me eyes and showed me that I really needed to be outside. Cleaning could wait.

We packed the dogs into the car and headed off on our journey of relaxation and adventure. The drive to Front Royal was uneventful aside from a short stint of ridiculous traffic on I-66 but the beauty of God's green earth was all around us and becoming more appealing the further from DC we got. The trees were in full effect, the sun was shining, the clouds were puffy and the sky was blue. I knew God had a plan for us today and it included a day of blissful rejuvenation.

Upon arrival in Front Royal, Michele & I went to Soul Mountain, a place I've been many times, and we had a fantastic lunch outside with the dogs sitting at our feet. Everyone walking by was so friendly, saying hi and petting the dogs, it felt like we were back in the 1950's. Small town mentality is just so positive and smiley. The restaurant was full and the wait staff was slow today but we were on the no-plan plan and were not in any hurry to get moving. We stopped by the local Daily Grind and got coffee and set off for Shenandoah National Park.

There are not words to describe the beauty of this park. The hills and valleys, the lusciously-filled forests, so green and captivating. Slow 'Sunday driving' and just taking in all the views was part of the no-plan plan. Instead of figuring out where we were going, we felt like God needed to lead us to a place to hike. At the same time we pointed to a quiet spot we could park and walk into the woods. Not 10 minutes into the walk did we come across huge stones overlooking the whole valley. Sitting on top of these stones with the dogs was a little piece of heaven. The peace and quiet, the views, the sun and clouds, the obvious love from our animals, the friendship... God. Everything was right with the world at that moment. Everything was perfect. No worry, no stress, nothing. Bliss.

Hiking for another 30-45 minutes, we found our way back to the car with tired dogs and relaxed glances at each other. I had been tweeting about our little trip and received a message from a good friend of ours, Raelinn, telling us we should come by for dinner with the dogs. We found our way to her place and had a fantastic dinner with wine, grilled chicken and interesting conversation on the huge porch of her beautiful house. Nestled into the woods in the peace and quiet, we found just the perfect end to our day.

On our way home tonight, we found the Christian station and were belting out uplifting music all the way home. The unending love He showed us all day allowed us to just revel in His peace. He knows just what we need but we have to let Him lead us to it. I know this is true about so many things in my life. I need His peace and His comfort, not the physical comfort of anyone else. I need Him and should call on Him when I need it. He never said he wouldn't allow things to happen in our lives but He did tell us that when we needed it, we'd be held. Today, He proved that He would hold me by placing a strong woman in my life who would allow me a little bit closer and just enjoy an incredible day.

Cheers to the no-plan plan and the rest of this incredible weekend of God-filled love.
Tags: Christian, relationships, God's power, relaxation, love, God, friendships
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