Understanding body image: origins and “the formula”

by Courtney

Body Image is defined by the way we think and feel about ourselves. Negative body image is when we have thoughts about ourselves which are negative - “I am fat” “I look ugly today” - which then color the way we see and feel about ourselves. Not only does society play a part in our perception but also the way we were raised, our genetics, and personality. Commercials, TV programs, and movies are not solely to blame for our negative perceptions; however, they do play a part. You might have noticed that the concept of thinness = beauty is very prevalent in our culture. I encourage you to take a moment to count the number of ads for weight loss or programs which focus on beauty or weight. It will be an enlightening experience.

When do we first learn messages about ourselves? People are born basically tabula rasa (a clean slate). We learn the most important messages from other people such as our parents, family, and friends. These learned messages are then reinforced by other interactions, such as those in society. For example, as a child you hear from your parents or caregivers the importance of being successful. They may define “being successful” as having a good job and earning a college degree; or maybe as being considered popular and beautiful. As you grow up, often you hear your mother comment on the appearance of others - “that woman could afford to lose some weight,” or “the way you look will determine your success in life.” You take these comments then internalize those messages as I must be _____ (pretty, thin, perfect, etc.) in order to be successful.

From this learned message from your family, anxiety may develop. The anxiety is manageable or unmanageable depending on individual vulnerabilities. Our vulnerabilities are due to our personality and genetics. To manage anxiety you use coping skills. Similar to body image, coping skills can be positive or negative. A negative coping skill can be using food, alcohol, work, drugs. A positive coping skill can be journaling, talking to a friend, reading, listening to music, hanging out with friends.
It is possible to change negative body image.

The first step is gaining insight and awareness. Take a moment to think about your body image. What do you feel when you have that thought? Then think about the course of your day – it starts with these thoughts about yourself and the corresponding feelings:

• I look in the mirror; I think I look fat in this outfit. 
• I feel awful then change my outfit several times. 
• I need to look good because if I don’t then people at the office won’t take me seriously as a professional if I look this way. 
• I should look a certain way because successful people look at me for guidance. 

These thoughts cause feelings of overwhelming anxiety and stress. These are the feelings that cause me to close the door and struggle to complete work at the office.

How can we change this chain of events? The formula is simple: Identify the event + thought = feeling and behavior. Change the thought = change in feelings and behaviors. I could have changed the chain of events when I thought, “I look fat in this outfit” to “I like the way I look in this outfit, I especially think my hair looks good.” Then I feel happy, content, or even proud. My day is successful.

While the formula is simple, the execution is not. Like any change in your routine, it takes practice, discipline, and positive reinforcement.